Finding the Path to “Feel” in Horsemanship

As an instructor, I am always looking for the best way to convey new information to my students. Every rider comes to me with a unique learning style and set of needs, which means my teaching can never be one-size-fits-all. Instead, I rely on constant observation—of both horse and human—evaluating what seems to bring clarity and progress versus what seems to create confusion.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that while no two students are exactly alike, they often fall into two broad categories when it comes to how they arrive at understanding. Some students come to feel through process and procedure, while others learn process and procedure through feel.

Students Who Learn Through Process First

The first group of students needs concrete, step-by-step guidance. They want to know exactly what to do with their aids in order to create a specific change in their horse. For example, I might say:

“Use light, intermittent pressure from your inside leg at the girth to encourage bend and ask the inside hind leg to step under and slightly across. At the same time, create a container with your outside aids by solidifying your outside hip, ribs, and elbow.”

Once they have those clear instructions, they can experiment, feel what happens, and describe the changes back to me. If the horse responds correctly, I confirm it, and the rider locks that sensation into memory, connecting it to the steps that brought it about. For these students, feel emerges as the result of first understanding the mechanical process.

Students Who Learn Through Feel First

The second group of students has an entirely different path. For them, detailed step-by-step directions often feel overwhelming, even paralyzing. If I tell them exactly what to do with each part of their body, they may lose track of what is actually happening in the moment. Instead, these riders thrive when given space to explore.

They prefer to play with an idea, experiment in their own bodies, and check in with me once they think they’ve found the right feeling. For them, too much instruction can cloud their natural awareness. They come to understand process and procedure after they have felt the concept for themselves. In other words, they reverse the order of learning: the sensation comes first, and the steps follow.

People wonder: Do you either have it or not? Can it be taught? Does it make you a better horseperson if you have more of it than someone else?

What We Mean by “Feel”

In the horse world, “feel” is a word we use constantly—sometimes with reverence, sometimes with frustration.

People wonder: Do you either have it or not? Can it be taught? Does it make you a better horseperson if you have more of it than someone else?

After more than twenty years of teaching riders across this spectrum, my answer is simple: it doesn’t matter how you get there, as long as you get there in the end.

I like to compare it to learning to dance with a partner. Some dancers need to learn every step in sequence before they can let go and feel the flow of the music. Others jump straight into the rhythm, moving with the music first and then refining their steps later. Either way, the goal is the same: to reach a place where you and your partner are moving as one, not thinking about each motion but simply flowing together.

Sure, some people may find that flow more naturally or quickly, but both paths can lead to the same beautiful result.

My Own Journey

When I reflect on my own learning, I recognize that I’ve moved between these two approaches at different times in my life. There were phases when I relied heavily on procedural mechanics to grasp something new. At other times, I had to consciously let go of “learning the steps” and instead feel my way through the experience.

Both methods have been valuable, and both are still tools I draw on today. Personally, I often prefer to feel my way through something with a horse—it feels more organic, more conversational. But I also understand that not everyone enjoys that, and for some, the reassurance of clear steps is what allows them to succeed.

There is no single “right” way to learn how to dance with your equine partner—on the ground or in the saddle. Neither path is more desirable than the other. What truly matters is your willingness to commit to the process that works best for you.

The Bottom Line

There is no single “right” way to learn how to dance with your equine partner—on the ground or in the saddle. Neither path is more desirable than the other. What truly matters is your willingness to commit to the process that works best for you.

If breaking down the big picture into smaller, digestible steps helps you discover that elusive feel, wonderful. If you need to experiment through trial and error before you can recognize the movement you’re seeking, that’s equally valid.

The key is knowing which approach resonates with you. When you and your trainer understand your learning style, the process becomes smoother, more joyful, and ultimately more effective. In the end, whether you start with the steps or the sensation, the destination is the same: a deeper, more harmonious partnership with your horse.