Clarity Over Force

When a horse resists, our instinct is often to assume the worst—that they’re being stubborn, disrespectful, or unwilling. I know I’ve been guilty of thinking this way in my past. But with time, I’ve learned that resistance is not defiance; it’s communication. A horse can’t tell us with words when something feels unclear, uncomfortable, or unfair, so they show us in other ways. The real test is whether we’re willing to listen.

This is where compassion and curiosity come in. Compassion softens our response, reminding us to see the horse not as an adversary, but as a partner trying to make sense of what we’re asking. Curiosity invites us to experiment: What else might this behavior mean? Is my timing off? Is my cue unclear? Could the horse be confused, sore, or overwhelmed? Each of these questions moves us closer to understanding, instead of doubling down on frustration.

Remember, staying open to new ideas, new techniques, and new perspectives keeps us adaptable and responsive.

“Oftentimes, being curious about the situations from my past have led to a better plan with the horses currently in my life. For me, when I find myself frustrated in this way, the antidotes are always compassion and curiosity—for self and for others. In the end, it will be worth the time I take, because my partner will be a willing one.” Chapter 1, Finding Purpose

When Something Isn’t Working, Try Something Different

Every rider knows what it feels like to hit a wall. The lead won’t come, the transitions feel sticky, or the energy of the ride turns sour. Our instinct is often to keep repeating the same request, hoping persistence will win the day. But horses don’t learn from pressure alone—they learn from clarity. And sometimes the bravest thing we can do is step back and try something new.

Openness doesn’t mean abandoning everything you know; it means being willing to adjust, experiment, and learn. When I first embraced this mindset, I realized that many of the “problems” I thought I had weren’t problems at all—they were signals. My horse wasn’t being difficult; they were asking me to communicate differently. Whether it meant shifting my timing, changing my approach, or seeking a second perspective, each new attempt taught me something.

“When something isn’t working, stop banging your head against that ceiling. Don’t be afraid to try something different. Take a leap. Do it, knowing for sure that it won’t be the last time you seek answers outside your own knowledge base. Do it knowing that, at least, it represents some kind of movement, and that’s always better than stagnation.” Chapter 9, Finding Purpose

From Frustration to Forward Movement

In my own training, I’ve seen breakthroughs happen the moment I stopped pushing against resistance and instead got curious about it. What once felt like a roadblock became an invitation to understand the horse in front of me more deeply. That shift didn’t just improve my horsemanship—it strengthened the relationship. Horses can feel when we’re listening, and when they believe we’re listening, they’re far more willing to meet us halfway.

Compassion, curiosity, and openness aren’t just strategies; they’re habits of mind. They turn frustration into progress, and roadblocks into signposts. Movement—however small—is always better than stagnation. And when we approach our horses this way, we don’t just get better results—we build better partnerships.

Something to Contemplate...

What’s one moment from your recent rides where curiosity, rather than frustration, could have shifted the outcome?

Share it in the comments or on social and tag me so I can reshare — your insight might be exactly what another rider needs to hear this week.